Things I learnt in my 20s
Gamification
Working in Gaming made me realize how powerful gamification is. It appeals to psychology and neuroscience in ways we can’t fathom. It’s concepts can be applied to life, goals, learning, and more. The use cases are unlimited. Gamification goes beyond leaderboards and points and into meaning, accomplishment, ownership, scarcity, problem-solving, influence etc.
Making games forces you to look beyond cognitive understanding and into human motivation. Games appeal to some of the deepest of our evolved needs.
“ Unlike movies or books, games are not passive: they require active participation and in that sense, they’re problems to be solved. Games are problems people pay to solve with time or money”
Society rewards followers and why we are happy doing so.
Behavioral theories have long maintained that humans reduce cognitive costs and actions are chosen to minimize demands for exertion. Thinking takes effort, and our brain tends to use shortcuts or "heuristics" to conserve energy, often leading to less rigorous thinking.
To question the norms and rethink systems requires immense effort. Adhering to these norms requires less mental energy than questioning them. Hence by conforming, we simply avoid the mental strain of overanalyzing our environment or challenging established systems.
Besides this, society. rewards this behaviour with social acceptance/validation.
Contentment = (Mental relief + Social validation) x Conformity
These two factors are multiplied by conformity (C), meaning that the more individuals conform, the more they experience mental relief and social validation, thereby increasing their contentment.
Rethinking systems and change takes generations because it demands critical thinking, creativity, and the courage to face potential social rejection. It's a much more exhausting path because it involves stepping outside the comfort zone of societal approval and into the unknown, where our decisions carry weight and uncertainty. Despite the upside of growth our brain favors ease over effort.
Founders are people like us.
Working with founders for the last 6 years has allowed me to see what sets them apart, how they work, and what makes them founders.
Confidence and determination. You can't be the sort of person who gets demoralized easily.
Drive, Clarity, and irrational optimism. They seem to handle stress well. Pre-PMF chaos is a true test of the human ability to manage stress. High energy and high agency.
They are rule breakers and delight in it. The hope is to stay on the right side of crazy.
Stopped watching NEWS
This one for me. I used to take a false sense of pride in knowing current events and geopolitics and have debates that made me feel smarter. Till I saw the rinse and repeat of it, the world just continued to go on and burn itself.
I can decide to detach from the negativity and horrors. The drama of Page 5, the cynicism of politics, and the suffering of the masses. I do not take pride in being ignorant. I will still touch upon some topics on my terms, otherwise, the news is just a small conversation maker and shit-stirrer. Let’s all have utter outrage together and bond over the insanity around us. No, thank you. I have enough *insanity* going on in my life.
People at the top * can be * the kindest, most empathetic leaders.
(Leaders and high achievers can often struggle with empathy. It is truly a rare combination of qualities)
A CEO I worked closely with made such an impression on me early career that it shifted the entire trajectory of my goals and life. He’s successfully exited his startup now, it is well deserved.
He handled stress with such resilience and grace that it shifted my perspective on challenges. Some leaders allow stress to trickle down, and their entire team suffers as a result, and there are those who hold a 5-inch wall between them so people can keep doing their best work. Him being the latter.
Constructing who we are for the rest of our lives.
We start our youth with full momentum and change becomes thicker and more difficult as we age. So isn’t it worth it to start building the behavior we want for the longer run?
I agree it’s not easy to envision the longer term (brains aren’t wired for that) but it is important to be cognizant that we are continually constructing who we are for the rest of our lives. Human behavior is mostly a matter of habit. We pretend as if we make big decisions all the time but truly we’re just acting from our everyday habits most of the time.
Cutting corners early in your career?
Low on Integrity?
Don’t condemn your future self to something you don’t value and don’t like doing. Later might be further away than you can imagine.
Popular belief is almost always wrong
Pattern matching through my 20s led me to see that structures often just offer peace of mind to a mind unsettled by the anxiety of uncertainty. No wonder most philosophers/thinkers led such depressed lives, seeing reality for what it is is a truly eye-opening experience.
It’s easier to follow a path, stay in conformity and comfort, and let life happen around you—happen to you.
I grew up in an extremely structured society in India: Engineering, MBA, White collar job, marriage by 25, kids by 29, and so on is the blueprint I’ve seen 90% of the people follow. Someone who strays from the path? Loser. Will be called names and looked down upon.
Popular movies/TV? Trash (mostly)
Popular ideas? Trash
When they zig, you zag. lol
Energy is the language of the soul
Alignment and authenticity come from being in tune with ourselves. Funny enough, I never truly understood the adage “Be yourself”—until I did.
One day, you just look at those damn skinny jeans and think, It’s okay, I don’t need to look sexy in these. Or those cursed heels that always bite your toes—you finally let them go. And suddenly, you’re sitting for hours with ease, walking further with comfort.
It all comes down to energy. Do you spend it adapting to the mold, or do you spend it to grow?
